humor
acoustic blues
Lyrics
Did you ever wake up
With Bullfrogs on your mind?
Did ya ever wake up
Bullfrogs on your clean mind?
That's a sure sign, good people, you've got
You got Bullfrogs on your mind
Ya know, it's hard
It's hard when the woman that you're in love with
Loves your best friend
But I wanna tell ya it's harder still
When she moves in with the dude
But I wanna tell ya it's extra special hard
When you and him are roommates
I mean to say that when you look over the pillow to where your sweet darlin' used to lay
And still does
Well, there's only one thing for ya to do, ya know
You head down to your local pawn shop
With those stilettos, stolen Martin guitars, compasses, and hair dryers
And you speak to the man behind the knife counter, you say
"Mister Pawn Broker what do those three balls mean on your wall?
What do those three balls mean on your wall?"
He says "That means it's two to one, buddy
You'll never get your shit back outta here at all!"
You say "Mister Pawn Broker
Hey won't you sell me a .38?
Aw please! Just one little ol' .38
Yes, I used to take a .44
But lately I've been losin' weight!"
So, you buy yourself a little pearl handled revolver and a double-breasted pin-striped suit
so that you're "dressed to kill" so to speak
And you head back to your best friend's house
You get a little high-chair/stool kinda thing
You peek up over the transom into your best friend's room
And in that room you see:
A 100% Mohair carpet
A BarcaLounger with Magic Fingers
Lizard skin upholstery
A Garrard turntable with a Pickering Cartridge, Bogen amplifier, Jensen speakers, Revox tape recorder and a Stromberg/Carlson AM/FM tuner
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
The Trilogy of the Rings
The Prophet by Khalil Gibran ... autographed!
All four volumes of The Teachings of Don Juan and a fifth in manuscript
Some Spiderman and Fantastic Four comic books featuring Dr. Doom
Some Zap! comic books with the pages stuck together
A leather bound five year collection of Playboy Magazine featuring the entire Playboy Philosophy by Hugh M. Hefner
Schmuck.
Some extra-wide cigarette papers featuring the visage of a former American Vice President
Some very suspicious looking baggies
And a great big, Olympic sized, thermally heated el mondo grosso waterbed
With satin sheets, pink pillowcases, and
A fur bedspread
And on that bed, shoutin' and groanin', humpin' and pumpin', twistin' and turnin', shoutin' and moanin'
You see your baby and your best friend
And good people, I wish to tell ya
It's hard!
No, no, no, I mean it's hard, baby
It's hard because you always thought your best friend was kind of a square
And you see him in there doin' things that'd make Dr. Kinsley wanna cross his legs
So you get down off of that stool and ya
Take a few quick notes
Stick diagrams depicting motion
And you knock on the door
Of course, you don't get no answer, so you knock again
Still don't get no answer, so you knock again
No answer, so you charge at that door with all your might and main just at the moment that your roommate, dressed in a green and yellow polka-dotted Canon towel opens up the door
And you go flyin' right across that 100% Mohair rug
You rebound off the Lizard Skin BarcaLounger with the Magic Fingers
Bounce off the Garrard turntable with the Pickaring cartridge, Bogen amplifier, Jimsome speakers ...
JENSON speakers, Revox turntable ... and ... the Stromberl/Carlsom AM/FM goddam tuner!
i mean to say that you go, you go right on by ... uh
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
The trilogy of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
The five year leather bound Playboy Magazine collection
Featuring the entire Playboy Philosophy by Hugh M. Hefner ...
Schmuck. (Thank you!)
I mean to say you fly on by The Prophet by Khalil Gibran with all the signifiant passages underlined.
Every word in the book is underlined ...
You pass by the entire Teachings of Don Juan
**Still insufficient space for full lyrical content**